The year in review

I made it! (Kind of.) On January 1st 2012 I pledged I would only tell the truth regardless of the consequences. That proved to be easier said than done. I slipped up a few times but I’m proud of myself for only lying less than a handful of times this year. The truth did a lot of good for me this year while bringing me some stress. I wouldn’t change a single thing.

When 2012 started I was in a doomed relationship with a woman. It quickly ended and I learned I needed to know who I was before I got anyone else involved.

After a lot of exploration I finally was able to come to terms with the fact that I was gay. It’s something in life I always though I could overcome, like cancer or the flu. I thought of being gay as a burden. I never really had any positive gay role models in my life. In high school I didn’t know anyone who was proudly gay. Gay kids were bullied. I always associated negative ideas with being gay and I just thought of it as a phase. When I decided to to only be honest was it that I came to realization that this wasn’t something I was gonna get over. It took a while but I decided to embrace the truth and just be myself. I’m so happy I did because life is so much better when you’re comfortable in your own skin.

I kissed a lot of loser frogs this year looking for a prince. I eventually found a Prince. After dating girls my whole life I finally found a guy who was worth my time. I eventually ended it, but it was a good learning experience.

The year brought me two new jobs that each changed my life. I worked helping freshman over the summer and I became an RA at my school. Each group of freshman I worked with were scared about their transitions. I told them my honest stories and helped them adjust. I told them how to be smart at college by sharing my experiences. All the people I worked with and met have changed my life in tremendous ways. In both job interviews I was myself and just told the truth. I almost didn’t get the RA job but everything worked out. I even was placed to oversee my schools LGBT community.

I came out to my parents this year. I then finally came out publicly to everyone else. It feels good knowing I can just be me. My Mom had a hard time with it but she was just shocked. We’re now at a really healthy point in our relationship. My Dad was fine with it and we discussed multiple times this year how I will probably never live at home again. All my friends, they were okay with it too. I learned this year that I’m really blessed with who I have in my life. I went from being in the closet and ashamed to being a guest speaker at my schools Coming Out Week Flag Ceremony.

When I started this project I had no idea this is where I would end up in life. If you told me a year ago all these things would happen I would never believe you.

A favorite excerpt from Week 24:

“With the project I keep finding that life is too short to leave things unsaid or live in fear for what others may think. Be honest and follow your heart. Extract yourself from your life right now and pretend your life is a book. You are the hero or heroine. If you are reading your story to a group of people are they listening? Is it worth reading? Would you google the plot because you think your tale is too boring? Make sure your autobiography is a bestseller.”

You are all probably wondering, “Are you gonna go back to lying?” The answer? I don’t think so. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to lying like I used to. Will I always tell the truth? I should, but I know life will batter me down and I’ll slip up. Deep down I know that honesty is the best, but sometimes I get scared and I think telling a lie is better. So I’m sure I will lie again but I’ll never be the same.

What does 2013 have in store for me? I don’t know but I’m ready to tackle it head on. I’m happy, healthy, and at a really great place in my life right now.

Thank you for joining me on my life changing journey.

With love & truthfully yours,

Casey

This has been the last week of Me, being honest.

Week 51

Happy Holidays to my readers!

I’m home from college on break. I was gone for over four months which is the longest I’ve ever been away. I survived all my finals, although the grades are still pending. I have to say this was one of the most stressful semesters on record. It was so stressful that I had to finally turn to coffee for support. I spent many late nights studying and I made it. I can’t tell you how many people I overheard talking about the cheat sheets they were making or the people that they copied off of. It’s disheartening but it’s a sad reality. I was tempted during one of my written finals to copy off my friend next to me. You get in a situation and panic. I fought off the nerve and I got a 60. I knew what I knew and I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I’m proud of myself for not cheating.

We always hear that “Good things come to those who wait.” But we know that hard pays off so, “Better things come to those people who work hard.” And life has a funny way of working because, “The best things come when you least expect it.”

These statements all apply to my life right now. I found someone pretty special and I have no intention of letting him go. I cleared out all the others in my life I wasn’t interested in. They didn’t take it easily but the truth hurts.

Also let us take a moment to be grateful that no small children asked me about Santa.

Truthfully yours,

Casey

This has been another week of Me, being honest.

 

(I’m almost done!)

Week 50

I’m in the midst of finals so I’ll be brief this week. A good friend of mine just went through a break up. We caught up and had a nice long talk. I shared the the faults in my past relationship because they were similar. I knew I could make my friend feel better if I shared the truth of all my problems.

I also had a friend who wanted to be “more than friends.” I declined this because I didn’t see it ending well. I had to stick to my guns because this person was pretty persistent but I knew I didn’t want it and it wouldn’t work out.

I’ve spent a large portion of this past week cooped up in the library and I’ve been live tweeting the shenanigans of everything I see and hear. The response has been overwhelming of random students interacting with my but just let it be known you can definitely be honest and be funny.

Truthfully yours,

Casey

This has been another week of Me, being honest.

Week 49

I’ve put myself in a lot of stupid places in life. It’s my own fault and I blame no one. Normally I wouldn’t want to hurt someones feelings so I’d just stick it out and deal with the repercussions. Not anymore. The truth is my savior. It might suck for others but at the end of the tunnel it is what is best. That tunnel might be really long but I’m just cutting to the punchline.

I don’t want to be in a relationship. I was talking to a few potential suitors and they all demanded too much of me so I cut them off. I ended things cold turkey. I don’t want what they want so why continue things? In the coming week I foresee a big explosion with a friend because of this. I’ll keep you posted.

 

Three more things:

1. I hope this holiday season no children ask me if Santa is real.

2. I just turned 21 years old.

3. On December 31st my blog will go back to being mebeinghonest.wordpress.com because I can’t afford the domain.

 

Truthfully yours,

Casey

This has been another week of Me, being honest.

Week 48

My professor asked my class this week if we read. I had read a few (about three) pages so I honestly told her that. She was pissed. I wasn’t the only one but she was furious with our class. The class meets on Tuesday and Thursday and she told us that we better have the book finished by Thursday. I could have easily lied and pretended like I had read the book like everyone else does. Instead I stayed up into the wee hours of the night (with the help of three cups of coffee) and read the 250+ pages of the book. It was my own fault. I take responsibilities for my actions and I got it done. Usually I would have just faked it but those days are done.

 

This week I also had to cut loose a guy that I wasn’t interested in. We wanted very different things so I was upfront about it and I think he’s hurt. I keep reminding myself though that he would be more hurt if it kept going.

 

I’m so close to the finish line.

 

Truthfully yours,

Casey

This has been another week of Me, being honest.

Week 47

Being honest is hard work. I’ve been being honest and it’s been stressing me out. I actually think it may be messing with my health because I’ve been having nightmares among other problems. I’m the only one to blame because I put myself in these situations. I can’t say I was entirely honest this week but I don’t know if I can be. I need to reevaluate my life and stop putting myself in harmful situations. I’ve been trying to be honest without hurting anyone using loopholes but that isn’t right because it’s just like telling a lie of omission.

 

I apologize everyone. I hope the next days bring me better luck.

Week 46

What an interesting week it has been for me. People have entered my life and people have exited. Everything happened really fast. I found out someone from my past was spreading rumors about me. It’s really upsetting because I used to think really highly of this person. I confronted him and addressed the issue. I don’t know if it’ll make a difference or not but at least I know the truth and I know I made an effort to stop the situation from escalating.

It really sucks to find out though people are talking about you in such a negative light. It just proves that even the nicest people have a dark side.

I also got into another fight with a friend. We’re no longer on speaking terms but the friendship was a little imbalanced. I voiced how I felt and the other person disagreed with me. It lead to a huge fight which is unfortunate. I can’t be mad though because I expressed how I really felt.

I’m “playing the field” which is 1000% times funnier when you’re only telling the truth. It’s also harder but it is definitely interesting.

Truthfully yours,

Casey

This has been another week of Me, being honest.

Week 45

Inside each and everyone of us knows the truth. We might have to dig, but at the end of the day you know yourself better than anyone else does. You might put up a front, but you know what you want. You don’t necessarily have to share truths you might be uncomfortable with but as long as you recognize it you’re better off than others.

Always stay true yourself and what you want. Don’t give in to what society wants, or what you think everyone else wants. Do you and I believe you will find happiness.

 

Truthfully yours,

Casey

This has been another week of Me, being honest.

Week 43 & 44

In the past two weeks my grandmother passed away, I ended a five month relationship, I was evacuated from my apartment, survived a  hurricane, and registered for courses for the end of my junior year.

It’s been pretty hectic since we last got together. Where would I even start? I must apologize for skipping last week. Hurricane Sandy did a lot of damage and I was without power for a period of time. Also with everything else going on in my life I’m sorry to say but this wasn’t my first priority.

My Grandma passed away after spending the last few years of her life with declining health. I thought I’d be prepared but I wasn’t. I guess you really can’t ever be prepared for death. I was the youngest grandkid of hers and I decided I wanted to give her eulogy. It was something I knew I’d regret not doing, although it scared me. She helped raise me so it only seemed fitting that I give her a proper send off. I kept it together for awhile but I eventually brought everyone to tears. I just shared my honest and best memories that I had with her. I know her suffering is over.

I broke up with my boyfriend. I’m not gonna say a lot here but it was something I needed to do. You can’t lie to yourself or your partner.

Sandy didn’t harm any loved ones but it destroyed my family’s summer home. My family is pretty devastated but I’m just happy everyone is okay. I lost power at school and was evacuated to a temporary dorm where they had me working 24/7. It was mentally draining but I survived. I bonded with my staff and my friends. We had a truth night where we stayed up almost all night and became a lot closer.

My school’s plan for a disaster was terrible and poorly planned. I made sure to voice this to my boss and tell his supervisor how I felt. I told the truth and it felt good knowing I said what I needed to say.

I pulled a trigger and decided to stick with my broadcasting major. I don’t necessarily like all the courses but it’s a dream of mine to work in the city. I did some serious thinking and decided that I’d be disappointed in myself if I gave up the opportunity to potentially throw away the option to work in the heart of NYC. I may not be happy but it’s a dream I know in my heart is worth pursuing.

That’s my life lately. It’s been hectic but I’ve been honest. I apologize for the lack of posting last week! I hope my life will get back to some level of normalcy.

Truthfully yours,

Casey

This has been another week of Me, being honest.

Week 42

The truth is right now my life is falling apart at the seams. I have a lot going on and my priorities are not in the right place. I need to make decisions and I need to speak up for myself. There are some truths I want to avoid but I can’t do that anymore.

 

The truth can really do some damage to everyone in its path.