I made it! (Kind of.) On January 1st 2012 I pledged I would only tell the truth regardless of the consequences. That proved to be easier said than done. I slipped up a few times but I’m proud of myself for only lying less than a handful of times this year. The truth did a lot of good for me this year while bringing me some stress. I wouldn’t change a single thing.
When 2012 started I was in a doomed relationship with a woman. It quickly ended and I learned I needed to know who I was before I got anyone else involved.
After a lot of exploration I finally was able to come to terms with the fact that I was gay. It’s something in life I always though I could overcome, like cancer or the flu. I thought of being gay as a burden. I never really had any positive gay role models in my life. In high school I didn’t know anyone who was proudly gay. Gay kids were bullied. I always associated negative ideas with being gay and I just thought of it as a phase. When I decided to to only be honest was it that I came to realization that this wasn’t something I was gonna get over. It took a while but I decided to embrace the truth and just be myself. I’m so happy I did because life is so much better when you’re comfortable in your own skin.
I kissed a lot of loser frogs this year looking for a prince. I eventually found a Prince. After dating girls my whole life I finally found a guy who was worth my time. I eventually ended it, but it was a good learning experience.
The year brought me two new jobs that each changed my life. I worked helping freshman over the summer and I became an RA at my school. Each group of freshman I worked with were scared about their transitions. I told them my honest stories and helped them adjust. I told them how to be smart at college by sharing my experiences. All the people I worked with and met have changed my life in tremendous ways. In both job interviews I was myself and just told the truth. I almost didn’t get the RA job but everything worked out. I even was placed to oversee my schools LGBT community.
I came out to my parents this year. I then finally came out publicly to everyone else. It feels good knowing I can just be me. My Mom had a hard time with it but she was just shocked. We’re now at a really healthy point in our relationship. My Dad was fine with it and we discussed multiple times this year how I will probably never live at home again. All my friends, they were okay with it too. I learned this year that I’m really blessed with who I have in my life. I went from being in the closet and ashamed to being a guest speaker at my schools Coming Out Week Flag Ceremony.
When I started this project I had no idea this is where I would end up in life. If you told me a year ago all these things would happen I would never believe you.
A favorite excerpt from Week 24:
“With the project I keep finding that life is too short to leave things unsaid or live in fear for what others may think. Be honest and follow your heart. Extract yourself from your life right now and pretend your life is a book. You are the hero or heroine. If you are reading your story to a group of people are they listening? Is it worth reading? Would you google the plot because you think your tale is too boring? Make sure your autobiography is a bestseller.”
You are all probably wondering, “Are you gonna go back to lying?” The answer? I don’t think so. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to lying like I used to. Will I always tell the truth? I should, but I know life will batter me down and I’ll slip up. Deep down I know that honesty is the best, but sometimes I get scared and I think telling a lie is better. So I’m sure I will lie again but I’ll never be the same.
What does 2013 have in store for me? I don’t know but I’m ready to tackle it head on. I’m happy, healthy, and at a really great place in my life right now.
Thank you for joining me on my life changing journey.
With love & truthfully yours,
This has been the last week of Me, being honest.