Thirty days into this project or so and I have to say it has been a riveting ride. My mouth has gotten me into a lot of trouble in my life. I used to get checks on my report card for “lacks self control,” but I couldn’t help that I was just naturally curious. I received many sad grams in first grade as a result of constantly moving my mouth. This brought shame and a lack of dessert into my household. As I grew up though, I honed my skills and came to be someone that your local lunch lady would call charming. I learned that these words that were getting me into trouble, could also get me out of trouble. However, only telling the truth has caused its own share of problems.
This week my words have gotten me into some carmel-coated situations. I asked a friend to be Valentine’s. I can’t pinpoint one specific reason that made me ask, but I did. I’m not even sure if it means anything, or that I intended it to, but I still asked. Truthfully though, I meant it. I liked the idea of it and it seemed right. I don’t know what will come from it but it my truth-spewing mouth put me into another position. We’ll just have to see how this ends up.
I’m also very sarcastic which I’m working on curbing for this project. If I say something, I need to stick to it. When you don’t stick to your word essentially you are lying. With that being said I owe my roommate and one of my best friends dinner. I don’t really want to buy them dinner but once again my mouth got me into trouble and I intend on fixing it.
This week I had two moments at the gym where telling the truth put me in places I’d never been before. College-early, Saturday morning I was lifting and someone asked me to spot them. Now this has never happened to me before. I’m usually the sardine among sharks but in this moment there was only one shark and one sardine in the tank. He was dead-lifting a lot of weight. How much you wonder? To quote him on it, “I’ve never lifted this twice.” I had to tell him that I wasn’t even exactly sure what kind of lift it was. He brushed it off and still trusted me. He showed me what to do and I’m proud to report that he’s still alive folks. He even told me he’d spot me whenever.
The second moment happens more frequently but I always treat it the same way. I’ll be using a machine and a macho, protein-scarfing, monster will ask if I’m done yet. I normally tell them I’m finished even if I have just gotten on. They walk around with egos the size of Manhattan so I just give in. This week that was not the case. A Jersey Shore wannabe saw me start and tried to weasel his way in and push me out. I told him I wasn’t finished and he’d just have to wait. Telling him I was done would be a lie. It felt good to stand up for myself.
A lovely lady that I work with this week asked me for my opinion on something. She wanted to know if she should splurge on a night in the city and knew I would tell her exactly how I felt. I told her to go for it because it was a good opportunity and honestly life is just too short to miss out on cool things. I don’t know if she went through with my advice but I told her how I felt.
I had lunch with a friend this week who happens to be gay. He asked me what was going on and how I identify. I’ve lied to him in the past but I had no choice but to tell him the truth this time. I don’t really like being put on the spot but any other answer would have been a lie.
My honesty journey is slowing starting to spread the same way cold butter does on toast. It’s rough and it’s not easy but I’m dealing with it. I’m hoping it will be worth it in the end. I just have to remember to be honest in my words, thoughts, and actions.