This week the truth telling has had pretty tumultuous repercussions on my life. Classes started here at school so I’ve been meeting new people, professors, and just getting back into the jist of things.
I was registered for an online religion course this semester but I recently swapped it out for an ethics class that meets once a week. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten until I graduated high school so I took it thinking it wouldn’t be too much of a challenge for me. There were many reasons I felt the need to drop my religion class. I honestly couldn’t even read through the syllabus one time without wanted to claw my eyes out using a fork. Honestly, I was not interested in it at all. Also, the fact that it was online would make it really easy to cheat. I could easily just use my books during exams or look up answers. Cheating, a form of lying, would put me in a tricky spot later in the semester. I decided that it would best to avoid the temptation I know I would be thrusted into and swap courses for something else while I still could. This new ethics class also supposedly ties in famous philosopher’s journeys to finding happiness and truth.
This week I also went out with some friends I work with and there was alcohol involved. Now many people say that, “a drunk mind speaks the truth,” and I have to agree. Being drunk allows for many to get a sense of confidence they might not always have. Now when I was inebriated I told someone I found them attractive. I also, with my new found courage, flat out asked someone if they ever thought they would make out with me. (How’s that for being direct?) When I woke up the next morning I couldn’t apologize. Telling someone “Sorry I was drunk,” would be a lie, because I’m not sorry at all. I meant what I said and making up an excuse would be lying. I was forced to live with it.
I experienced a moment or two this week when I was being flirted with. I know the person isn’t right for me but everyone loves attention. Knowing this person is wrong for me is forcing me to be honest and blunt. I can’t let my desires get me in trouble. I think I’m being pretty stern. We will see where this goes.
I work at my school as a campus tour guide and shifts started this week. I absolutely love what I do and I work with a great group of people. However, if we’re being honest, there are a few coworkers (I just happen to work with this semester) that I would probably push off a bridge if given the chance. It may sound cruel, but some just rub me the wrong way. It will be interesting to see how things play out this semester because some of them love me, but I just don’t feel the same way.
Being true to yourself is hard. It’s hard when you aren’t really sure who you are. There a lot of people out there in the world who might try and change who you are. I have to remember what I want and who I am. It’s tricky to do when it’s so easy to put up a front.